Enter Quizno’s.

The 28 year-old ‘we toasted subs first’ sandwich shop has created some regrettable online marketing blunders in recent months, from a free-sub word of mouth disaster to a heinous display of literal food-porn, and unfortunately their latest campaign doesn’t fare much better.  Let’s take a closer look:

1 Million Subs: If there is one important lesson to learn about the power of word of mouth online, it’s that if you offer anything that’s worth something for free, people will take it – and then tell all their friends about it and they will also take it.  As my colleague Sarah reported in our previous post, Quizno’s fell victim to the power of WOM with their 1 Million Subs Giveaway campaign in February, which spiraled into a publicity disaster when hungry consumers became outraged as struggling franchisees refused to accommodate the offer after too many people tried to claim free subs.   As you might expect, the Million Sub Giveaway campaign is now “We’re sorry, that page was not found.”  Strike one.

2 Girls 1 Sub: Shortly after the 1 Million Subs campaign, a spoof on the infamous 2 Girls 1 Cup video trailer was released to the internet, prominently featuring the new Quizno’s Torpedo sub sloppily eaten by 2 scantily clad women.  Looking past the utterly horrifying correlation that was made in the Playboy-produced video between Quiznos’ toasty subs and ‘the cup’ from the original pornographic film trailer, the real blunder here is that ‘whomever’ was in on this project (Quizno’s denies any knowledge or involvement in the production of the video, but the majority agrees something doesn’t quite smell right) missed the reason why 2 Girls 1 Cup went viral in the first place.  It wasn’t the actual video people were obsessed with (if you haven’t seen it, I strongly advise you don’t), it is by no means the first of its kind. Rather what made this video so popular was the resulting phenomenon of recording and uploading the hilarious reactions of unsuspecting viewers who were duped into watching it.  Strike 2.

Where Do You Torpedo?:  Quiznos’ latest attempt at viral success is in the form of a user-generated photo and video contest asking customers where they like to eat the ‘$5 foot-long killer’ Torpedo sub.  As of this post, the promotion has 5 entries.  With a grand prize of $10k you’d think the promotion would fare a little better than that, but it clearly fails to resonate with customers.  There is nothing fun or interesting about photo shopping you eating a sandwich in front of a strange place.  It appears to be a thoughtless attempt to get customers to shill their sandwich on the internet.  Strike 3.

One would hope a brand would learn from their mistakes, but these initiatives continue to come off as self-centered attempts to position the brand as edgy and relevant.  If only they would take a step back, listen to their customers’ needs and wants, and then respond to those needs they’d earn the relevance they so desperately seek.  Until then Quizno’s will continue to dig itself deeper into that hole of regret that so many young adults find themselves in.

Maybe I’m being too hard on Quizno’s, not everything they’re doing is reprehensible.  They’re active on Twitter,  Facebook and YouTube, and although the talking oven is kitschy I’ve seen worse and their Twitter scavenger hunts for gift certificates are a fun way to mix online and offline and a good use of the Twitter platform.    However, from scat-porn rip-offs to lame UGC contests, I have to say Quizno’s still has a lot of growing up to do.

Share your thoughts in the comments or send me a tweet @patrickcourtney.

Last week you learned a valuable lesson (no, not that Oprah is queen – we already knew that). You learned, hopefully, not to underestimate the power of Word of Mouth.

To recap, for those who haven’t been stampeded in one of your locations within the past week…

You as a brand, interested in dipping you toes into the healthier side and challenging the “F” that is the center of your acronym (you are brave!), decided to launch an online coupon for your new “Kentucky Grilled Chicken” line and seed it with the ever so subtle and non-influential (ha!) @Oprah.

The coupon was for two free pieces of grilled chicken, two sides and a biscuit to anyone who downloaded and printed it within a two-day period.  By your brand’s own analysis and admission, according to your spokesperson and Ad Age however, it wasn’t the Big O who caused the premature canceling of the promotion and in-store riots, it was the WOM-driven sharing of the promotion.

According to this very informative review of Chicken-Gate in Ad Age, KFC/KGC banked on big Oprah numbers. You took O’s projections for number of coupons based on other offers from her show and then subsequently doubled them.  You estimated about 10.5 million coupons were downloaded, which you could have handled. But then, the kicker comes in – in what I can only believe to be an obvious twist of fate without unique codes and a system that can detect them, the coupons were photocopied and shared from friend to fast food loving friend.

Adding mega fuel to the grill, you apparently didn’t properly brief all your chicken purveyors.  You see, my non-Yum Brand enthusiasts, KFC is not only company-owned – there are franchisees across the country (and it is a recession). And they aren’t giving you their chicken without Colonel Sanders reimbursing them. So they do what all people trying to curb costs in a harsh economic climate would do – act completely unaware and utterly unwilling to accept the coupons. At least that is what has allegedly happened several reported scenarios that we have learned about thanks to our friends at Consumerist who are always clucking around the latest promotional scandal.

All of this adds up to a public relations disaster with consumers now pacified with a free Pepsi (really KFC, not even a drumstick or two? or better yet how about a Dr. Pepper?) left angry and annoyed.

Believing that you  hadn’t learned the Starbucks lesson in the inevitable WOM of coupons seems unrealistic. I can’t help but believe that you WANTED this mega success turned disaster of too much consumer interest to happen. The amount of precedence (see below) makes your unawareness just not seem likely.

And this could have been deemed a total and utter success, if you just would have set better rules of engagement.

Oh, KFC… If only you had handled it better – with unique trackable codes or printing system, some type of CRM integration (which would have given you more measurable results and consumer qualification for a deeper relationship marketing after the fact – building loyalty with your new grilled friends) or when the chicken hit the fan, with a better crisis plan in place.

As I am convinced you know, with downloadable coupons, the ability for it to spiral, especially in a recession and for a FULL MEAL is inevitable. Consumers live and breathe a brand throwing them a free buck.

But have no fear, KFC, a few of your friends have made just as big of a mess of things as you have. If only you had heeded their example.

DR PEPPER

Dr Pepper said it would give everyone in the country a free soda if Guns N’ Roses released its much anticipated album “Chinese Democracy” before the end of the year.  This promotion culminated in the band’s lawyers getting nasty with the brand stating that G ‘n R are “outraged at the treatment of their fans and the American public in general” after Dr. Pepper’s site couldn’t handle the traffic and repeatedly crashed when they attempted to honor their promise.

After mega backlash in the blogosphere for seeming to be unprepared for the consumer response, Dr Pepper extended the offer for a few more days, but continued to receive tons of criticism as a result of the incident. Note to Dr. Pepper: if you would have offered us all a partial refund for the album (what a let down it was) all would have been forgiven

SUBWAY

Your footlong friends Subway did away with their iconic and beloved (by sub fans, not by me) stamp loyalty program that was born way back in the 1980s after (duh) realizing that there might be some fraud going on both with consumers and internally with their franchisees with counterfit stamps and cards.

The breaking point? A roll of the stamps being sold on eBay.

I think they’re redeeming themselves with the big Chuck promotion, though. I’m all about the Save Chuck bandwagon. Maybe you could spin yours into saving Lipstick Jungle? Or Kings? I love both of those programs. I’d be happy to help. I bet Brooke Shields and Ian McShane could get behind some grilled chicken.

QUIZNO’s

In other sub disasters, earlier this year, your grilled sub friends, Quizno’s ran into some trouble when they announced their million sub giveaway (aka free sandwich) (see a pattern here?)  The problem, which seems like it might be a bit of yours also, was many of the company’s franchises didn’t participate in the “million sub giveaway” leading to mega consumer backlash.

It is unclear if they ever truly hit that magic million number.

And, the ultimate king of coupon PR disaster is of course, your friends from the land of eternal rain, Starbucks.

STARBUCKS

Trumping all of the above, your Seattle friends ran into a class-action suit after they tried a free coffee promotion way back in 2006. Starbucks emailed printable coupons for free iced coffee drinks to employees urging them to pass the coupons on to friends and family. Obviously, their friends & family hit the fabulous “FORWARD” button and the promotion got a bit out of hand.

After 38-days Starbucks announced that they would no longer honor the coupons.

So, in summary, my friends in mashed potatoes & chicken, I am suggesting that you curb this crisis with some innovation. Do a promotion that honors and activates your influencers.  Use them as the spark that fires up the grilled fire, in a positive, trackable, and controlled manner.  Rally around them to introduce your new health-conscious option.

You will spark word of mouth and have a demonstrated ROI that makes your loyalists, your new friends in all things grilled, the blogosphere, AND your franchisees happy and full.

Need an agency to help you out? This is right up our alley. Drop me a line.

Your friend in all things grilled, mashed & gravy covered,

Sarah